Email from me to my mom, earlier this week:
I’m getting my haircut today after work. Want to hear some of my ideas about the whole thing? Yes? Oh good.
Years of experience has shown that the amount of times between haircuts for me is fairly constant, meaning that time has demonstrated that good haircut or bad, [...]

When I was in kindergarten, my dad took me to go see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in the movie theaters for my birthday.  We went in the afternoon after school and I remember being so excited the whole car ride there because HELLO! the half hour tv shows were the best and how could an [...]

…or I also think that it would be very entertaining to get a tattoo of a squished bug on palm of my hand so that I could be sitting somewhere and randomly pretend to start swatting for gnats and see if anyone around me freaks out when I show them my success… (Mom. Dead [...]

Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents would go on a date and leave you with a babysitter? Despite the fact that both my parents worked, that was always a tramatic experience. Even when they picked babysitters I liked. Why? Because it was hard to imagine that [...]

6 (66) reasons why it categorically sucks to share a bathroom
with your 10 year old brother

Aiming issues. Have you ever seen Gung Hu with Michael Keaton? He has a line that goes something along lines of, “Come to the game. We get drunk and then pee for distance.” The boss [...]