I studied abroad in Brussels two years ago and there are still days that I miss it terribly. Some times in life are more suited for reminiscing than others, and this is one of them. And so I will immerse myself in pictures and bad europop and mourn the fact that life has changed. I miss the places, I miss the people, but mostly I miss who I got to be for those short 6 months. This is something I wrote right after I got back and the sentiments have not changed.

Being in Brussels was liberating because the entire experience was an adventure. In the beginning, especially when I was sick (note: I had mono when I left, spent the first month as sick as a dog and had a solid exploration of the Brussels health care system while there), the whole concept of being in country where I didn’t know anyone was somewhat terrifying, and the language barriers were overwhelming and impassible. But eventually that became my favorite part about it. Every single day became this grand journey, and the experiences typically classified as mundane chores at home were exciting. A successful trip to the grocery store became a victory, and was often enough to make the day feel like an accomplishment. I fell in love with exploring, with finding new ways to get where I needed to be, and discovering new places. Exploration was an everyday occurrence; the process of just getting by was always novel. I felt like the entire city of Brussels was mine for the taking.

But it was even more than that, because the whole continent was at my fingertips. I never would have imagined that it was possible to book a last minute trip in broken French, only to arrive in a completely new country where I again didn’t speak the language. Gone were the days of getting to the airport 2 hours early—I had to run to catch trains more times than I could count. And once I got off the train, more often than not I had no idea how to get where I was going or how to even speak to someone to ask. The sheer excitement that came from trying to figure it all out was exhilarating. For me, Europe largely came without itineraries, and I liked the freedom of being able to experience things instead of rigorously scheduling everything. Never before have I been able to just be – at least not quite like this.

I did make friends with people from school, people I would probably never get to know ordinarily. But largely the trip was about me. I traveled with friends and I would go out with other people, but I still spent the majority of my time with myself. And I liked that that was okay. I encountered a lot of things in Europe, but most importantly, I encountered myself.