Iron-y
I iron clothes approximately twice a year. I hate ironing — my entire goal in life is to use irons as little as possible. Usually if I have something wrinkled, there are three options.
1) I throw it in the dryer on the “wrinkle release” setting.
2) I either pick something else to wear or determine that the wrinkle adds character and wear it as is. OR
3) I use The Skill.
The Skill has developed into an art form. Let me explain. Occassionally, on the ambitious days I opt for tackling a wrinkle when I am also fixing my hair, in which case I will perform the highly impressive task of “ironing” the clothes I’m wearing with the curling iron. However, this practice has been significantly reduced after my (non-clothes ironing related) curling iron arm burn, which has lead to some problems in the number of work clothes at my disposal.
I finally caved tonight and decided that I needed to iron. I gathered the (many) clothes that were in need of a little steam press and set off to perform the dreaded task. And… I discovered that I don’t have an ironing board to use. The ironing board at my house, which sees about as much action as I did in high school (i.e. none…), was… in use!? Seriously? Yep, the board is currently serving as the integral part of my younger brother’s fort. What are the odds that my twice-yearly activity would overlap with fort building? (I’d say 20…)
And even though it’s kind of irritating that my ambitious plan was thwarted by a pile of blankets and pillows, I haven’t turned into such an old fart that I decided to tear apart a fort for ironing. Because when I hit that stage in life, it is then that I worry about how lame and grown-up I am.
Tonight, I stand proudly before you and proclaim: I Am Pro-Fort!
So if the opposite were true, and you HAD become such an old fart that you opted for tearing down the pillows and blankets, would that make you then…Pro-FART?
haha, best pun I’ve heard in a long time! excellent!
And of course, the fort makes perfectly good use out of what should be considered an antique. The ironing board is a necessary furnishing only when my mother comes. Or perhaps other visitors with rumpled traveling clothes should get some allowance. And as I have always taught you, if it comes out wrinkled, dry it again and remove promptly. Still a problem? That equates to a dry cleaning commitment or give it away, afterall its not a useful clothing article. There is of course, always allowance for minor curling iron corrections. I think I have taught you well….. Just call me June II.
Good for people to know.