After having scoured the internet looking for apartments and condos, I have realized that the real estate community must be using rules for website creation that the rest of the world is unaware of. Based on my observations, I will attempt to decipher what this guide must say.

HOW TO BUILD A REAL ESTATE WEBSITE

1) Obnoxious flash interfaces ONLY! We would hate to allow future tenants to be able to actually link to specific information, so make sure everything is flash. The slower it loads, the better. Bonus points if white noise starts playing automatically.

2) Find a photo of an attractive female of a diverse background standing in front of the building at sunset. If unavailable, use stock photos or artist’s renderings.

3) Obscure all useful information. Prices, square footage, floor plans - none of this should be easily accessible. In fact, it is preferable to just include an office phone number and tell people to call for information.

4) Above all else, create large and extensive forms for interested tenants. Never follow up with anyone who bothers to fill them out.